RADIATE Already?

Posted by shelby on Aug 24th, 2010 at about 2:54 pm

Yep, it's happening already. The Sneak Peek weekend for RADIATE2010 will be happening on Sept. 17, and the planning process has already begun for this year's RADIATE in the Inner Harbor of Baltimore, MD.

Believe it or not, planning for the conference began way back at the beginning of 2010, but it has recently kicked into high gear. I'll be at the Sneak Peek weekend in Baltimore next month, and if you're blessed enough to be a part of that, many fun/interesting surprises await for you!

Just call me Shelby Wonka.

Fall Traveling Schedule

Posted by shelby on Aug 9th, 2010 at about 12:54 pm

The new schedule has just been posted for my traveling dates this fall semester. I'm pumped. At most locations, I'll be bringing my new book, "Jacked", if you'd like to purchase a copy. They sell online for $9.75, but if you buy one directly from me at a show or speaking engagement, they will be $6. Aren't I nice?

See you on the road!

Handerpants and Austin Bats

Posted by shelby on May 11th, 2010 at about 5:36 pm

Even as I type this now, I’m wearing my newly acquired “handerpants” that keep the base of my hands toasty warm. In case you don’t know what I’m talking about, see my twitter feed...they’re basically underpants for your hands and I bought them while I was on vacation in Austin, TX.

 

Austin’s motto is: Keep Austin Weird. Appropriate, I’d say, because the place is, well...weird. A good weird, though. Cool restaurants and shops. Relatively safe and clean too. But the weirdest part about Austin has got to be the nightly flight of the 1.5 million bats that live under the capital street bridge. I stood on this bridge when dusk fell and watched hundreds of thousands of bats squeekily fly out into the city to go eat their weight in insects...and this happens every night! I’ve never heard of this happening in any other city, ever!

 

The smell of the bats still haunts my nostrils and the lingering memory of my week-long vacation makes me sad because it’s over. Welp, on to other important comedic things in my future. Just thought you should know.

Justin Bieber, I'm scared for you

Posted by shelby on Apr 29th, 2010 at about 1:22 pm

Justin Bieber, I’m scared for you.

 

At the tender age of 16, you are on the verge of “the phase” that transforms every boy into a man, leaving the charm behind and ushering in (pun intended, because you were discovered by Usher) a world of acne, uncomfortably large front teeth, a bigger nose, and an unpredictable voice. Herein lies your problem, my little friend.

 

The magic of what makes you a worldwide draw is that pure, adorable clean sound that emanates from your mouth and touches the heart of every hormone infested 14-year-old girl from Los Angeles to Scranton. If that beautiful tone is lost to the evil thief of innocence called “puberty”, what will become of your 2-year-old career? Will it be lost forever, or will you pull a Hanson and wait for 8-10 months before you make another public appearance to sing for the masses? 

 

Yes, the Hanson brothers released a few more albums after they made the switch, but their popularity took a giant hit, not being able to recapture the charming effects of “Mmm Bop”, and they relinquished their teen dream throne for lives of marriage and producing children with their wives before barely escaping their twenties. Will you follow in their footsteps or will you keep the beats coming after transformation takes place?

 

We shall all see very soon...unless you’re like me and your genetic makeup keeps you in the kid world for way too long, rendering you a laughing stock because you don’t get hair under your arms until the ripe old age of 18.

 

I’m scared for you, Justin Bieber, but I hold onto the hope that the eventual maturity in your singing voice will make you a better artist and not an awkward one, the likes of which no one has ever seen...with the obvious exception of Lady Gaga.

Diners, Drive-Ins, and Dives

Posted by shelby on Apr 19th, 2010 at about 7:17 pm

I saw Guy Fieri today in West Chester and decided to sprint across traffic to get a picture before he ducked into a local restaurant to grab some lunch. Nice guy. He even gave me the fist pound before I left and said, "Thanks for watching." To which I replied, "no problem". Man, I'm good.

Love Seat of Love: A Brief History

Posted by shelby on Apr 6th, 2010 at about 4:39 pm

Shelby the Hero

Posted by shelby on Apr 6th, 2010 at about 4:35 pm

I take my desire to serve and protect very seriously. Case in point...

Two is Better than One Parody

Posted by shelby on Apr 6th, 2010 at about 4:13 pm

My final goodbye to Big Break 2010, parody style.

Fireflies Parody

Posted by shelby on Mar 19th, 2010 at about 11:49 pm

The "Fireflies" parody from Big Break 2010.

"Jacked" Now Available Online

Posted by shelby on Mar 17th, 2010 at about 5:31 pm

If you'd like to purchase a copy of my book "Jacked", it is now available online here. Great for individuals and small group studies that desire growth in the area of evangelism.

Just a note: I don't make a dime off the sales of my book. Any and all profits go directly back into the ministry of CruPress. Ergo, there is no conflict of interest here as I promote my writing.

Happy reading!